Continuous
by Takahashi Asuka
Summary: All I'm asking for is one last time to look and feel and kiss again, to feel his hands all over me, to feel him look at me and for me when I disappear again to save his life. The more I think about him and this, the more I believe it would be better to stay away, to not allow him to regain his memories, to completely forget about my existence, because our fate, it's continuous.


Chapter 1:

I fell in love with a man whom I shouldn't have fallen in love with.

_I love you._

But I couldn't control my actions, or how I felt when I saw him walking up to me that day in his blackened work clothing and face.

_I'm so sorry._

He presented himself like a proper gentleman, similar to that of my social class but without having to force himself and without the arrogance.

_Why did it have to turn out this way?_

When he reached for my hand I could tell he had wiped his own beforehand so he wouldn't dirty my gloves.

_Why is this happening to us?_

He bowed and kissed my gloved hand tenderly, stood and introduced himself, though I hardly listened as his voice, his silky voice, entranced my whole being.

_Please, please let this end._

I watched his lips move as he spoke his name. It wasn't the most elaborate but hearing him say it caused my heart to skip a beat in my chest. I could imagine myself saying his name over and over again and never tiring. I could imagine speaking with him more, laughing with him more, spending more time with him, loving him more, and finally marrying him. I never imagined that my selfishness and yearning to be with him would kill him.

_Inuyasha…_

_**~_*~.0.~*_~**_

I awoke with a jolt as the blinds to my bedroom window thrashed violently and the sounds of thunder echoed throughout my room. The wind howled and caused to my room and I to freeze, and the rain was soaking my carpet, probably freezing and icing it over too. I feel like an icicle, but not wanting to risk turning into one if I leave my bed to fix everything, I stay put and try to stay warm.

I close my eyes and snuggle further into my blankets and comforter, but after a few seconds I know there's no point. My room was absolutely freezing, and the thunder, wind and thrashing of my blinds were driving me nuts. Why had I been such an idiot to keep it open? I knew it was going to rain tonight, hell, it rained _every_ night here. Practically every day too. What was I even thinking? Had I been warm? Drank a little too much wine? Was the thermostat on high so I didn't really notice? I groan and throw off my covers; it was too cold and I was awoken too abruptly to even remember what I was thinking last night.

I quickly scamper over to my window stepping into the wet spot the rain had created (my carpet also made a lovely "squishing" noise much to my excitement), and throw my blinds to the side, grab hold of my window and shut it as quickly as I could. I may have felt like an icicle in my bed, but now I feel like my arms and abdominal section have turned hypothermic. I hug myself in an attempt to warm and somehow appease my goose bumps, and look at my digital clock before making my way over to my bathroom to grab a towel or two. It's 5:15 in the morning and due to the arctic blast, I'm wide awake. I don't have to be up for another four hours for my shift at the Lake Union Cafe. I groan again; I already knew that I was going to be incredibly cranky for that shift.

I drop my arms and start walking toward the hall to get to my bathroom. I didn't actually want the job I have at the Lake Union Cafe; I don't enjoy being a waitress and serving a copious amount of unnecessary food to people who didn't need to even eat that much, nor do I enjoy conversing with the people there and attempting to be cheerful when half the time they're depressed because of the constant rain (though, I probably would enjoy conversing if they were cheerful on most days, and not just on the rare sunny ones). It's not like I need the little amount money from my weekly pay check either; I have more than enough money to last me four lifetimes, maybe more. No, what I have this job for is to seem slightly normal because if I didn't have it I would cooped up in here until I was ready to move again. So this job technically forces me to be social and slightly normal so people don't like I'm weird and antisocial. Because in this day and age, god forbid women not speak!

My feet thud against the hardwood floor of my hallway and the thunder and lightning echo and light up my condo. People most likely already figure something was off with me. I mean, I'm a waitress at the Lake Union Café that lives in a million dollar condo located on Union Street in Seattle, Washington. I'm in one of the best buildings possible with a fantastic view and I have a meager weekly waitress salary? Don't get me wrong, the Lake Union Café is a pretty well known place, but I would only be able to afford where I live if I worked there my whole life, for twenty-four hours a day. And I'm pretty sure they're not open all day every day. I don't even think I'd be able to afford this place working there all day every day!

My neighbors must think I'm doing some hefty illegal trades or something to afford this place.

I flick the switch to turn on the light in my bathroom when I walk in and I open up the cupboard and grab four towels. I leave two on the sink and take the other two with me as I make my way back to my room to place them on the lovely wet spot the nice rain had placed on my floor. Do I really want to go to work today? It's not like I've ever skipped work before, but I'm not feeling particularly up to working. Then again, it's only 5:22 in the morning. I don't know anyone who would be up to doing anything at this hour. I'm not even up to attempting to dry my wet carpet. I'm sure it'll dry sooner or later, right?

I sigh as I throw the towels on the floor and kneel down. I grab one towel, unfold it and place it on the wet spot, pressing down and absorbing the water as much as I can. I flip and rearrange the towel and repeat the process, but I soon tire and throw it off to the side. I have all the time in the world to do this; countless years, countless weeks, countless days, hours, seconds… I can do this whenever I please. I don't have to worry about rushing to fix it because I can do it whenever. And if gets ruined, I'll just pay to have it fixed. Countless time and money; every human's dream. But alas, not every human can forever stay clean and that's myself included, so I stand and make my way back to the bathroom.

I turn on the shower and then slowly strip down removing my green long sleeve first. Wearing a bra, I've found, is probably the most uncomfortable feeling while sleeping a woman can ever endure. I'm not too sure how women do it. Getting poked by the underwire constantly, having to shift countless of times so that it sets right… What's the point in going through all the trouble? And, if you do sleep countless of times in your bra, the wire breaks through the fabric! I'd rather save my bras than constantly have to buy new ones! (I may have a lot of money, but I don't want to spend some of it continuously buying bras. Too much work.) I then proceed to slide my gray Victoria's Secret pajama bottoms off. Did I mention wearing panties is uncomfortable too? I guess I still, after so many years, have to get use to it. I mean, for twenty years of my youth and many years after that I slept without any clothing at all!

Before stepping into the shower I check out my reflection in the mirror. Piercing blue eyes stare back at me with a youthful look. I stare back and study them, seeking some unknown knowledge that I believe hides within them, but I know there's nothing to be found. They've never aged, they've never tired, but they've always been searching. I scowl, furrow my brows and turn around, stepping into the shower and allowing the warm water to burn my cold skin. I stand here for a while not moving, not thinking, just allowing the warm water to cascade down my body. It's somehow comforting in a way; the warm water replaces the body that's supposed to be there, that's supposed to warm me for when I get cold, that's supposed to protect me for when I need protection, and that's supposed love me for when I need love. But it's my fault he isn't here, it's my fault I put our relationship in turmoil, it's my fault I put him into jeopardy, it's my fault that I didn't restrain myself. I fell in love with a man whom I shouldn't have fallen in love with, and now we're both paying the price for my selfish deed.

I punch the granite wall and let out a frustrated cry, tears slowly mixing in with the water and falling down my face. This is my entire fault- if I had just done what I was told that day we would have never met and he wouldn't have been succumbed to such a fate worse than death, and I—I wouldn't be where I am today.

I step out of the shower and turn the water off, the cold air instantly hitting me and sending shivers throughout my body. It doesn't react well with my sore and aching hand either, but I don't care, the pain will go away in no time. I grab one towel, lean over so my hair is hanging and wrap my hair inside of it. I then stand, wrap my second towel around me and head to my room, suddenly tired once more. I have experienced these episodes many times before, and each time they occur they never get easier.

_**~_*~.0.~*_~**_

My alarm roared with a righteous fury at 8:50 am, sending me out of my finally peaceful slumber after thirty minutes of restless crying and abusing my pillow. Despite thinking of going to work and figuring it would be the smarter option, I opt against it. I'll call in and tell them I've got the flu or something along those lines. I'm sure they have more than enough workers for the day.

I snatch my cellphone from my bedside table and unlock it; I tap on my phone app and dial the LUC number and contemplate on whether or not I should really skip work today. I shake my head and tell myself to hush up, that I'm exhausted and would only end up scaring half of the customers that decide to dine today. I press the button to call, and while it rings I practice my best flu voice. On the third ring an all-too-chipper coworker of mine answers the phone.

"Hi and thank for calling the Lake Union Café! How may I help you today?" Almost instantly I recognize that it's Candice Lafferty, my newest and youngest coworker who just started three weeks ago. Along with being my coworker, she is a bright and bubbly, very slim and petite red-headed girl who is currently attending Washington State University as a pre-med undergraduate. And I almost forgot: she has a "_super_ hot and sweet and fantastic" boyfriend named Brad who is also a pre-med undergraduate.

"Hey, Candice," I attempt in my best faux-flu voice, "it's Kagome, Kagome Grey? Your coworker?" She quickly says an "Oh yeah! Hi, Kagome!" and I continue on, "Listen, Candice I think I've come down with the flu," Cue in fake coughs, "and I don't think I'll be able to make it in today. Could you please tell Mr. Sabeniano that? I would really appreciate it."

"Sure thing! You just need to hold on for once second so I can get him alright? You know the rules, he has to approve first! Okay? Just one-" There was a fairly loud "thud," so I assumed she dropped the phone. "Oh goodness!" She yelled, "Hold on, Kagome! Don't go anywhere! I'll be right back! Stay on the phone, okay? Stay there!" And before I can say okay, I hear her little feet tinker away as she goes off to find Mr. Sabeniano.

Did I also mention she's a bit of an klutz? If anything, don't let her perform surgery or any type of medical procedure on you, or anyone for that matter. Just to be safe. I wouldn't want her to stab an artery or something relatively important.

While waiting, I look through my windows that overlook the city, which was currently being abused by more rain, wind, and thunderstorms. Why had I decided to move here? Out of all the places in the world and out of every condo, house, and luxury boat I own, why Seattle? I had been here before and I didn't like it very much the first time around, so why did I move here? What drove me to purchase this condo? Was it because I felt him near? Was he in this city? No, that isn't right. It's far too early to be able to feel him. But when? When will that moment be again? When will I be able to see him again? All I'm asking for is one time, one time to look and feel and kiss again, to feel his hands all over me, to feel him look at me and for me when I disappear again to save his life. The more I think about him and this, the more I believe it would be better to stay away, to not allow him to regain his memories, to completely forget about my existence.

I may have gained an eternity of loneliness, to forever live without the one I love, but he gained a fate worse than death: he gained continuous reincarnation, and continuous death by the one who caused him this fate: me. Do I want to cause him even more pain in this lifetime?

"Kagome? It's Mr. Sabeniano speaking. Candice said something about not coming into work today?"

"Yes, Mr. Sabeniano. Due to unfortunate circumstances," I sigh, "I must resign. I will send in my resignation letter to you tomorrow. I apologize for the late notice, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to work for you." And I hung up, opened my laptop, turned on my printer, and printed out my resignation. I then took out an envelope, addressed it the Lake Union Café and to Mr. Robert Sabeniano and stuffed my resignation letter inside. I sealed, and placed it on my bedside table.

Our fate, it was continuous.

* * *

**Alright, just one little side note: _A Second Chance _will be rewritten. I've come to that conclusion and I owe you all (my readers) that. So just to hold ya'll over here's this story which I will attempt to update periodically. Mind you, this story is waaay off from the _Inuyasha_ setting. This was my original story that I created a while back with my own characters and setting. It's going to seem weird, hell, inputting the _Inuyasha_ characters was weird! But we'll see what happens. Opinions, suggestions and corrections are always welcomed! (I also realize the lack of corrections. Apologies.)**

**Until next time!**

**~TA**


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